Because I love you, boy… Part 8- I’ll lose myself
Mid-October.
The weather was taking a cold turn with days. The air had a bit of chill in it giving away the arrival of winter. But it wasn’t cold enough to wear warm clothes. In the past weeks, Mavi heard every kind of things.
“Have you heard about the cute younger sister of Jayce?” A girl was talking with her friend in a shrill voice with excitement.
“Of course, I did. She’s in my brother’ class and I heard that she’s really smart as well,” They both screamed in excitement. When Mavi heard this last week, she felt they were wasting their energy on someone else for no reason.
Another day, she heard some other girls gossiping in the bathroom. “Have you seen the way Xoan looks at Valerie? I bet they’ll end up together,” Her tone was dreamy and Mavi could imagine her expression sitting in one of the cubicles.
“At least, he won’t have to put up with Mavi anymore,” The other one sneered. The girls left the bathroom while laughing at their own words.
It didn’t trouble her at all or at least she told herself that it didn’t hurt. She kept her distance from both Jayce and Xoan. The only person who came looking for her repeatedly was the equally stubborn, Ryker. He spent a lot of time on the bleachers with Mavi in the past week.
They didn’t talk, they only sat there in silence as Mavi watched the soccer team play and Ryker sat there to look at the side of her face. The more he looked, the more he found something unique about her like her face was square shaped, her nose was long and narrow and her eyes were almond shaped. Her complexion was not fair but rather sun-kissed that made it glow.
Mavi felt his gaze but never questioned him, she knew he would ask something. She had already seen a sea of questions in his eyes which scared her.
It was the basketball match that day and they had gathered in the court to watch the match between the popular team of The Hope Williams Academy, The Dragons and the team of Saint. Joseph Academy, Warriors. As the game began, everyone looked anxious and excited.
Even Mavi felt the hype, she drowned out in the game more than she realized. It wasn’t the first time she came on Ryker’s match but in the previous years, her attention was captured by Xoan. This year she paid the attention to the game to avoid seeing Xoan sitting closely with Valerie as they shared snacks and whispered sweet nothings.
She cheered for the team and also made stupid remarks about the other team. In the past few weeks, this was the day she felt at ease. All of her frustration was gone after cheering loudly for her team. The Dragons won with a major lead in the end.
She had been a soccer fan for as long as she could remember. The reason was her brother, Jayce and her father as they both played soccer. Before, she never thought basketball would be fun. But when she actually paid attention because of someone, she found it exhilarating.
At the celebration dinner, everyone cheered for the champions. Mavi already cheered enough at the court so she decided to stick with the beer bottles in a corner.
“You’ve been drinking too much lately,” Xoan said as he sat beside her in the corner. She didn’t stop to look at him which made Xoan disappointed.
“Am I not allowed to?” Her voice was crisp and left no room for further discussion. “Your girlfriend seems nice,” She added when she realized that she was being rude.
“She’s not my girlfriend, yet. We are not official,” Mavi looked at the side of his face and her heart hurt seeing his eyes glued on Valerie.
“Leave it, you’ll start vomiting,” Jayce snatched the bottle from her hand. She glared at him and tried to take it back.
“Give it back. My sickness doesn’t have anything to do with you,” Her face held an expression of annoyance and she kept trying to snatch the bottle back.
“It definitely is my res-,” Jayce’s were cut off when he heard his sister’s voice from behind.
“Your cute little sister is calling you. Go lecture her. She’s smart enough to understand your words,” Mavi’s voice was laced with ridicule and sarcasm. She took the bottle and walked out of the house.
Xoan stood frozen at his place as he saw the frost emanating from her body. He’d always thought, she was loud but never rude or arrogant. But those days, all of his knowledge about her was being questioned.
‘Do I really know the real you?’ Xoan thought to himself.
The cold breeze hit Mavi’s face as she walked out in the fresh air. It was chilly at night enough to cool down her burning face. She sat down on the stairs and took another sip of her beer.
“How much did you drink?” Ryker sat beside her on the stairs as he asked with curiosity. His voice didn’t hold any teasing tone.
“You want to lecture me as well?” Mavi asked looking straight ahead in a flat tone.
“No, I was just curious,” Ryker replied honestly.
“Mr. Black, don’t be so curious about me. Remember, curiosity killed the cat.”
It was the first time, Mavi called him ‘Mr. Black’ and it made Ryker’s already jumbled mind go into a frenzy. He laughed lightly before talking. “Ms.” He paused and realized, he didn’t know Mavi’s last name.
“You don’t know my last name?” It was more of a statement than a question. But Ryker nodded in response.
“No one calls you by your last name,” Ryker said guiltily. “And I don’t even know who your dad is or where you live,” Even though those were the things he wanted to ask but he didn’t dare ask her. He didn’t want to see the pain and sadness he saw on her face when she waited in front of the school gate. That scene made him upset for some unknown reason.
“It has been quiet since Yara left for her competition,” Mavi dodged the question. Yara went to France for a competition in designing last week. After a while, she added, “Did you bring your car?” Jayce nodded dumbfoundedly. “Let’s go then.” She stood up with an ambitious look.
“Where are we going?” Jayce asked as he sat in the car.
“To my house, duh,” Jayce gave her a baffled look. She laughed at his weird reaction.
“Didn’t you just said that you haven’t been to my house?”
The rest of the ride was spent in silence and Mavi only gave directions to him. As they came closer to her house, Jayce realized they were in the Garden Estates where only a few mansions were located. Because of the darkness, Jayce didn’t realize where he was driving but when he stepped out of the car and saw the mansion standing in front of him. His gaze fell on the astounding mansion of The Ashmore’.
“Relax, let’s go inside,” Mavi saw the look on his face but was quite clear-headed about her decision of bringing him here. She wouldn’t just bring anyone in her house.
“Young miss, you’re back,” Mrs. Margo rushed to attend to her but halted when she saw the young boy standing next to her. Mavi seemed to have sensed her confusion.
“He’s my friend. Bring some snacks and something to sober me,” After giving instructions, she dragged the stunned figure of Jayce to her room. Before entering, she said, “Before you enter, let me warn you. No judgy face and comments. I hate it.”
At first, Jayce couldn’t comprehend her words but after seeing her room he understood everything. Her room was in a usual mess and the walls were covered with Xoan’s face. Instead of judgment, he felt bad for her. “You do know that Xoan is a clean-freak right?” He asked gazing at her figure.
She plopped down on her bed and said, “This is something I can’t change for him.” Her voice was barely audible but Ryker heard it clearly.
“You can’t or you won’t?”
“I won’t,” She looked up and replied in a stern voice. “I’ve already changed many things about myself if I change this one I’ll really lose myself.”
The Feelings Corner 